Anyone can be a survivalist. We’re everywhere, but for some strange reason certain people won’t take you seriously unless you look like a survivalist.

What the hell does that mean? If a person has the knowledge and regularly practices survival skills, what does a profile photo have anything to do with being a good survivalist?

Having a professional appearance probably makes them better at surviving. Such a person is able to blend in and survive professionally, and then continue surviving after the SHTF.

Survivalist Stereotype

So, what does this stereotype look like?

According to what I’ve seen on socialist media platforms[1], people respond positively to content shared by male contributors who fit the following criteria:

• Wears camo.
• Is former military, or claims to be.
• Has a hunting photo.
• Is old, has wrinkles, or has a weathered face.
• Looks like he hasn’t bathed in a few days.
• Has a large unkept beard, or any beard.
• Owns a big dog.

What about Women?

I don’t know if it’s an instinctual form of sexism, but women get a free pass when it comes to these criteria. Most men visualize women wearing makeup and doing girly stuff, so it’s awesome to see a woman taking steps to ensure her family will survive. And if they have a question or make a mistake, there’s plenty of armchair survivalists falling over themselves to “mansplain” it for them.

Also, they can’t grow a beard.

Camouflage

Anyone can wear camo and stand in front of a tree for a photo. The best camouflage in the world won’t keep you hidden if you’re cackling like a hen with your best bros. It takes skill to sneak through the brush without revealing your position. Camo won’t muffle the noise of rustling branches or snapping twigs. Nor will it stop animals from reacting to your presence because you’re strutting around like the pack alpha.

Military or Former Military

You don’t need special combat training to be a survivalist, but it can help in certain circumstances. The ability to understand procedures and instinctively know what government forces will do, by-the-book, can come in handy when trying to thwart the plans of a hostile government.

Most modern militaries are based on a system dependent on technology. The common soldiers probably won’t know what to do if a disaster is so… disastrous, it eliminates most of the infrastructure they rely on. The military uses a technological foundation to do pretty much everything: navigation, communication, seeing at night, long-distance travel, even food rations are produced using industrial-level equipment.

Aboriginal tribes and traditional Native Americans are more skilled than the average soldier at: navigating, seeing at night, and eating off the land. Hell, they even know how to communicate at long distances without a phone or radio using smoke signals.

Hunting Photo

Hunting is a great skill to have and it can be done using a gun, bow, or traps. Most hunters in the survivalist groups post pics of game they shot with a gun, so I’ll focus on that form of hunting.

Just because you had a pic taken with a deer you shot doesn’t mean you have the knowledge or skill to do all the other things it takes to survive. For all we know, you went hunting with a guide who tracked a location where prey animals pass through frequently. That same guide probably cleaned your kill too.

Hunting requires a combination of physical and mental abilities the average person may not have. At minimum, a hunter needs: patience, tracking skills, the ability to aim, and be able to fire a weapon without falling backward.

Another thing to remember is that hunting is a small part of survival. Some people know how to forage and grow food well enough to feed a family. This can be done without shooting a gun, which announces to every desperate person within a mile that your family now has dinner.

Old-Timer

Being a sexagenarian (60-year-old) or older doesn’t automatically make you a good survivalist. The elderly will probably be some of the first to die after the SHTF, because most people over 50 depend on at least one life-saving medication for survival.

Even if an elderly person is in perfect health, basic medical science (or common sense) will make them more susceptible to getting cancer from radiation if World War III happens… or UV rays from the Sun.

Dingy

A survivalist may have photos of being rugged and muddy, but I guarantee you, he isn’t that way all the time. Unless you’re nose-blind to it, most people don’t want to be around someone who reeks of body odor and tracks dirt everywhere.

That muddy survivalist probably lives with someone who demands that he be clean before entering the house. Even if he lives alone, in the woods, he’ll need to come back to civilization to charge his electronics and post online about his adventures.

That photo you see on Facebook, Twitter (aka X), and other social media platforms was probably selected with great care and attention to detail. He probably sorted through a hundred pics before choosing that perfect photo to upload[2].

Dirt can help a survivalist blend into his surroundings and is the only makeup a rugged man can use, but don’t shun soap. Basic hygiene will be essential after the SHTF.

Beards

Why does a survivalist need to have a beard? Clean shaven survivalists exist because some of us don’t like the scratchiness, or we have sexual partners who don’t like it. In fact, I’ll be so bold as to claim that clean-shaven survivalists are probably better at surviving than someone who looks like they belong in an episode of Duck Dynasty.

• A clean-shaven man is more likely to survive in an office environment, and will be able to afford more gear.
• Fancy gear isn’t everything, but that same guy probably has more paid vacation to practice his survival skills. Depending on where you’re at in a career, that can be as much as 2 months!
• After the SHTF, a clean-shaven person is less likely to be seen as a threat. What are most people likely to do if an armed, rugged stranger with a long beard shows up at home unannounced? Pap pap! Pew pew!
• Hostile bandits will likely underestimate a clean-shaven man and think he’s soft or weak. This perception could work to your advantage during an ambush or if taken prisoner. Bandits probably won’t take chances attacking a ruggedly bearded man. They’ll shoot to kill.
• Consider how expensive it will be to maintain a shaved face after the SHTF. Some African and Asian cultures think obesity is a sign of wealth, power, and fertility. Having a shaved face after the fall of civilization could have the same meaning, and a lot of people will be attracted to that.

Anyways, get over your homoerotic man-crush inspired by the Spartans from the movie, 300.

This IS NOT Sparta!

BIG Dog

You don’t have to own a big dog. Yes, large dogs are menacing and can do more damage to a human or wild predator when compared to a little ankle-biter like a Chihuahua or Pomeranian. But, if you stop guzzling that testosterone and steroid cocktail, maybe you’ll realize that small dogs can be useful too.

Many small breeds have better hearing and eyesight than larger dogs and can warn the owner of danger faster. They tend to sleep lighter than larger breeds too, and are more likely to wake up when a stealthy intruder approaches. The advantage provided in these situations may be a few measly seconds, but think of what you can do with that extra time.

• If awake: grab the nearest weapon, spot the intruder, find a defendable position, and take aim (if you have a gun/bow/slingshot/etc.).
• If asleep: wake up, grab the nearest weapon, and maybe spot the intruder. Of course, this depends on how quickly you come to your senses after waking.

If you don’t have a pet and happen to find a stray dog during your post-apocalyptic travels, befriend it and you’ll have a faithful companion for life. It doesn’t matter if that dog is 6-pounds, fully grown. It’s better than nothing.

Hell, any tame animal you can trust is better than nothing. Even a cat. Read about how different animals can be useful in this article titled, Useful Survival Pets.

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Looking like a rugged outdoorsman may fit the stereotype we’re familiar with, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are better at surviving than someone else. Looks don’t mean shit if you don’t know what you’re doing.

It takes knowledge, skill, and practice to be a good survivalist.

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[1] Socialist Media Platforms: The social[ist] media platforms I’ve observed this behavior on include: Facebook, Twitter, Parler, Instagram, and even YouTube.

[2] Painstakingly Selective Photo: It’s the 21^st century, so that same guy probably showered and took several hundred nudes and close-ups of his cock before uploading the perfect dick-pic to a dating app.

I don’t judge. You do you!